Why the Narcissist picked you Understanding why the narcissist picked you to be their victim can be something hard to understand. Unless you can pull back the …
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Why the Narcissist picked you
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this is the truth, thank you. They're vultures!
,You are spot on. I'm a foster child and loved the ground my daughter walks on. She is my only child. she is very beautiful like me her mother. When she was a little girl, she would say mommy, when I grow up I want to be beautiful just like you. And, I would tell her your going to be more beautiful than mommy. I am an actress and ballerina and I would practice both arts everyday of her young beautiful life. When I would come to her elementary school to volunteer twice a week to assist her teachers all the way up to 9th grade. She would tell the boys don't look at my mommy, look at your own mother. I never really thought much of it, not unless she was rude or something. I thought all little girls want to grow up and be like their mothers. innocence on both our parts. As a single educated mother, she has seen me volunteer at my previous private foster care agency with the young teens, and won awards every year from this volunteer service that I do in New York for 10 years. She is very intelligent. Her IQ is 125. She is now a professional and loves wbite collar crime since she was young. Never got caught. My conversations in the past with her when I would find out about these bad behaviors I would tell her that she is going to go to jail one day if she doesn't stop. Her solution to this problem was to get rid of me. So, I haven't heard from her in 5 years until April 30, 2016 and that was because our dear aunt passed away. And my daughter paid for me to go to attend the funeral in New York from the West coast. I'm older now and didn't have the money. However, two years ago I found out about the narcissist. She paid the money so she could look good to family and friends. A Public showing. But, she never told anyone that she best me. I get it now. I got the memo. I'm in deep pain about my only child. I have forgiven her but I will never forget. Like 911. There's more to this story. She's 41 years old. I keep her on prayer and the 6 beautiful grandsons she has given me. I will pray for you too, for allowing me to share. Love you, too.
great and helpful video.
This is awesome advice on how to play the game of life and protect yourself!
It is scary to listen to this video and realize how you hit my experience right on the button. That is bewildering.
So helpful. Thank you so much. I needed that advice.
Hi James, what about married men who pretend to be single? I have one in particular, it was several years ago, but I haven't gotten completely over him. Feeling cheated and completelly disrespected. Still thinking how to get score, & give him taste of his own medicine. Haven't found a medicine yet.
Hmm.. I am pretty much alone.
great knowledge!!! I learned alot!!!!
Where is the do-do test? uh oh, sorry, I asked before I finished listening to the whole video. I thought I heard you say that there was another video but the answers were in this one 🙂 Thank you so much!
Thank you begood for all you do! This is great to know when dating again! The signs to look out for!
I was a special needs teacher, sexually abused at age 11, divorced single mother, the black sheep of the family, recent death in the family, recovering alcoholic. This all made me his perfect victim. He had two boys with autism and was a sex addict. He knew I had worked with autistic children and had helped addicts in 12 step programs so he used it against me for empathy, sympathy and to manipulate me.
I have to admit that the format of these videos put me off at first. Thing is that the content, the copy writing, on these is outstanding. Thank you for the insight, motivation, and perspective. Well done!
Great video. Thanks so much.
you're a legend
This video is so accurate. I had a 'friend' who actually told me when we first met that they tend to befriend to quiet/loner types. I was young and didn't think much of it at the time.
Good information, thanks.
Good
this is why family is SO IMPORTANT!
Yes, they check out your family and connections to see if you have support, out if your family is weak or fickle.
creepy picture! reminded me of Rosemarys baby, lol
I attended Al-anon for many years. I also went to therapy for over 15 years. I used to say Why me? Why do I attract men that use me, abuse me or abandon me? Then I was surfing the web one day and discovered many sites where survivors relay their experiences attracting narcissists as a result of their codependency issues. I realize that it did not matter how successful or attractive I was. I still had horrible experiences with very malignant narcissistic men. I got terribly sick with severe Aplastic Anemia. There was not a known cause but I believe it was a result of stress, I consider myself a survivor now. I have improved myself physically and spiritually. Part of it was a result of several factors and lifestyle changes but it is people like you who improve people's lives. I just discovered this after all of the work I did to improve myself. God bless you. I admire you because you have shared your knowledge with others and have had a positive impact people's lives.
never stop learning, thanks for the awareness
SPOT ON.
ABSOLUTELY ACCURATE.
THIS IS ABSOLUTELY TRUE.
What a great video, James. Thank you, again. It explains a lot about why the Ns are now moving away from me, not even coming in.
If the narc boss writes You up at work you know the writing is on the wall.So how can you fake you don't need the job at this point? Wouldn't it be a bit late at this point?
They are crazy-makers wanting to make you crazy when they get you alone. Good riddance to them.
Great perspectives, James! Not appearing to be "the lone gazelle" and setting the timers on while you're on vacation… that's brilliant.
I found this description of narcissistic strategy for choosing victims very interesting…..So often when we deal with people we may automatically believe we should trust what people present to us……I particularly resonated with the idea of self protection which used the analogy of lights on when going on holiday scenario…..applying that to not exposing your own vulnerability when someone expresses an interest in you or your life……It's very sad however that it has become so necessary in this day of supposed enlightenment that so many relationships seem to be predisposed to use and abuse rather than healthy loving relationship with one another………
James, don't know who you are or where you are but very thankful here, for your help with my basic living lessons.
Something I've learned is to pay attention to the questions people ask you. There is a vast difference between sizing someone up and getting to know them. A narcissist wants to know off the bat what you do, what sort of family you have, what they do, their social standing and such because they are gauging what you have and not who you are. These people are not only rude and inappropriate but they are NOT nice people. Nice people do not try to evaluate what you have right when they meet you, they simply get to know you as a person. There is a definite difference, pay attention to what they try to elicit from you in the beginning.
I am still reeling from being with a sociopath for 10 years and being raised by a narcissist parent. It is hard to do the right thing around new people. Thank you for this video.
Such a great video. Thank you!
I agree with you but they are not the top of the food chain a borderline sucks them in and they think they have control but they don't and when they push the borderlines buttons they rage and have no filter so it sets the narc of into a panick attack the borderline retreats the narc comes begging back and because the nassistic is so focused on winning they will loose there health money to try and win
read my twitter @barbara_boychuk fraud victim ….over the top …extreme…
OMG what an Eye opening! Thank you very much
That was excellent thank you:-)
Sometimes it works out better to pathologize yourself and admit to the narcissist that you have codependent tendencies and tell him/her all the things that piss you off about abusive people. Talking about narcissism in an objective way with your narcissistic 'friend' makes him/her nervous because they will get paranoid that you're talking about them but you don't have to admit to that. They will know that you are aware of narcissist schemes and potentially aware of their scheme and that will compromise their actions and spoil their fun.
So can a community turn on you? Cause I went in a Hardware store , and one guy said be prepared to walk away, then the next week, I return something ,and the firsst thing out his cashier mouth was " get out " your card, do you see the nuance of the phrase?
Man, this explains what happened to me. Hook lone and sinker.