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Can a Narcissist Change? Episode 39 of the “Ask a Question” Show
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A simple question and the answer went off on a completely different tangent.
only their underwear
, For what I remember the question about the romance of Ellen in the interview, http://www.dezintopdesentupidora.com.br/desentupidora-na-zona-norte.html the Oscar says something like "It can be a Droid" I think he was referring to the BB8 and not to Finn or Rey. So would find it cool if there was a relationship
I really love your videos they have been extremely helpful in giving me some closure with my narcissist ex. so on the topic of change, is it all possible for narcissists to love? I understand it may never be unconditional. but is it really all just fake? Was any of it real? I would really appreciate any insight on this… :,/
I really love your videos they have been extremely helpful in giving me some closure with my narcissist ex. so on the topic of change, is it all possible for narcissists to love? I understand it may never be unconditional. but is it really all just fake? Was any of it real? I would really appreciate any insight on this… :,/
You are correct. The word "narcissist" has been so overused and misused that I avoid using it. The terms "abusive" or "manipulative" perhaps "entitled" or "self-serving" is more descriptive. Many times I describe them as "those who define themselves externally." All accurately describe NPD much better than the globally derogative term which seems to be what the word "narcissist" has become. NPD is a disorder. Although change is always possible, it is not reasonable to believe that an entitled person will ever change. The rules simply do not apply to them. Boundaries do not exist and the problem is with everyone else, not them. Is it reasonable for a person who sees the world through that kind of perspective ever be trusted to change? Sure it is always possible, but it not very likely! Hanging onto the hope that you will be the exception usually ensures that you will remain the victim. Do you really want to be the victim? If not, then accept them for who they are, not for who you thought they once were or who you want them to be!
Anyone who thinks a Narcissist can change may watch Henry Rollins' video of his song "Liar" on Youtube.
Thankyou Dana,
Dr John Hare proved neural insufficiency in the frontal lobe [missing the empathy chip] of psychopaths working in prisons with confirmed psychopaths. Another fine work in the area is Dr. John Clarke 'Working with Monsters' which especially talked about workplace psychopaths.. Currently DSM considers these 'Cluster B' creatures to be 'personality disorders' who have control over their actions…. I am convinced that this understanding will be turned on it's head within a few editions, largely thanks to people like yourself.
Having come out of a generational family of psychopaths- both lateral and vertically up the generations; I am convinced this is totally WRONG!! Psychopaths [Narcs in our jargon] have no control in their truely sadistic sources of pleasure and satisfaction and closely mirror the people described in Dr Hare's fine book {The Psychopath Whisperer)…. They basically never reform and they literally have orgasms when they commit their rotten atrocities – I fully believe.
Had DIcken's got the character Scrooge correct- he would have gone to the Christmas dinner, spoiled it for everyone and then sacked the poor father…, and creamed his pants.
You Know Dana, Charles Dickens got "A Christmas Carol" totally wrong when he reformed Scrooge. The ghost of Christmas future showed him a very mean grave stone of himself – and Scrooge woke up to himself…. Actually Scrooge is a very good example of a Narc- but infact they have a frontal lobe deficiency which destroys ALL empathy; and so they have no control over their meanness and awfulness…. Just like a reptile cannot function as a mammal, let alone a primate- so a Narc cannot change their brain programming…It is very probably a physiology phenomonen that has been proven for violent psychopaths.
Fucking: NO. Narcs love the idea of you changing them. Go find someone that appreciates who you are – fuck that loser – let them sit in their own soiled diapers…
NO NO NO Dana!Narcs DO NOT CHANGE_ NOT EVEN IF THEY LIVE TO 100+ years old!!! They have a brain deficiency and that never changes…
The problem is that spectrum personality disorder (cluster B types) have built up their personas over many years – it is their world view model – and it is a broken model though they don't understand that it is. The usual development of this 'model' stems from a compensation process due to some form of abuse in childhood – happening at a critical phase of mental development. So it is a bit like trying to 'un-bake' a cake… Can't be done. However it may be possible for a person to alter the way they react and then interact through a process of learning to trust without expectations and the need for absolute control – my guess is though, that this has to be through a group based therapy, and not a 'one on one' with a conventional therapist. It is unfortunate that we seem to have to have a label to reduce something unavoidably complex and nuanced into something simplistic to the point of caricature. Strangely we currently live in a media driven world that espouses the narcissist.
What if your mother-in-law is a narcissist?
Admittedly, I (perhaps like the person asking the question) was waiting for an answer that sounded something like, "Yes, studies show…" or "No, studies show…" However, your answer was probably far more practical and insightful, and gives more meaning to the question. That is (from what I gathered) that it is not important what studies show, or that it is not important how someone is labelled, but rather that it is important in how to take care of ourselves. So, while this may not have been the answer I was expecting based on the title of the video, it was an answer I personally found helpful!
Thank you for sharing your information with us. It means much to me today. ty.